sorry for the bothersome post... but i needed to vent somewhere...

so i never write these, well i never start them anyway...
but i need to vent... or figure it all out (yea right... who has figured it all out?)... and im sure it would probably be better to do it on a piece of paper and throw into a trash can where it can disapear into the void of a recycle bin somewhere... but that would almost be like bottling it all up wouldnt it? writing it down but keeping it inside at the same time... and now im just rambling... and not even writing about whats making me over contemplate life... but its something... i just need advice... and i have no one to turn to for help... and i just want to pick up and leave... disapear... i know it sounds so cliche... like the depressed kiddies out there... and im not even a kid... but there are so many mitigating circumstances... that probably dont even matter... i mean... my life has been a big mistake up to this point... so im pretty sure it doesnt matter how i chose to wittle away my days... how can you convince your self of something when your heart doesnt want you to believe? but you know its true? and how do you move on... and how do you let go... and how do you get over all of the contradictions that are thrown in your face... and how do you know which way is right, is true, when you are feeling two completely opposing ways about a situation? or three or four situations...

man, there are so many questions that will never have answers... i know that is what life is all about... but im having trouble accepting it all...

i just want to be happy again

sorry for the bothersome post... but i needed to vent somewhere...

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michaela on June 30, 2008 at 11:19pm: Well you've gone offline - please come and talk - things are better shared and I'm a good listener - Love Michaela.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Five Ft 0f Concrete on June 30, 2008 at 11:35pm: i did not go offline!! it just took me a while to type all that i had to type to you; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by & i burn. on July 1, 2008 at 2:23am: i know how you feel, maybe in a whole different way, but i've learned to live with it. apathetic is the way to go! well, not really at all, but there's not much else i can do in my situation of mine. good luck.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Agonies Creep on July 1, 2008 at 4:47am: Hey Five Ft. Of Concrete, (Love that name, VERY cool) I once took a philosaphy class at my local comunity collage & the teacher didn't show up one night. I was dissapointed, as I enjoied absorbing his intellect. As I was leaving, I spotted him (by chance, as I didn't know his car) sitting in his car. I walked over & started to converse, He had been sitting in his car the whole time, philosaphasizing on whether he was really here or not. I was alittle pissed but, tried not to let it show, as I considered him much smarter than me. You didn't say exactly what was bothering you & perhaps it's none of my buisness. I don't like to see any of my fellow Legionares bummed out so I'd like to help if I can. When I was single & I fealt like shit, haveing meaningless sex would usually chear me (this is not a come on, as I can barely hang with my wifes needs as it is) up. That may be a typically male thing to say but, I AM trying to help. I suggest that you get a moter-cycle & ride the hell out of it. At my age, I actually enjoy a furrious dirt-bike ride more than sex but, street-bikes (far more dangerous though)are a blast too. Lastly, don't sweat the little stuff or the stuff that's beyond your control, life is too short to sit in a parking lot trying to figure out if you're really here or not. Life dosen't have to suck!
Your Friend, Agonies Creep
Odin Lives!! Otep is Love!!!
P.S. "Every man dies but, not every man Lives!"- Me; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Birdd on July 1, 2008 at 9:06am: I know this feeling all too well i have been there for a while as well, just hang in there you can talk to me anytime i will listen to you vent all day! I know i can't explain it to you but i will do my best to help you in anyway i can; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Woodchopper on July 1, 2008 at 9:44am: Yeah, if we would know what you are talking about. I am SURE i could help you out but, you absolutely don't say what the fuck is the matter. WHAT is the biggest mistake in your life? Could please tell me... And then so the fuck what. And further I agree you should just figuratively speaking schie down the hill with who ever said anything like that. Don't fuck up anything.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Five Ft 0f Concrete on July 4, 2008 at 10:44am: schie down the hill?? what??; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Istvan56 on July 1, 2008 at 7:46pm: I'm not sure if you expect a response, but I thank you for venting. I can't let go either. I'm told to get over the past, it was a long time ago, here take some meds, go out and be all you can be, follow your heart. When I do, it's never good enough. Good enough for who!!!! In todays world, every one judges you by your looks and achievements. To me that's so "old school". Life should be about people helping each other and building relationships. It should not be about who has the biggest mouth, wallet, or degree. I don't accept any of it. Mankind will someday evolve to the next level. Until then, each day is one step closer......; ▶ Reply to This