this is just RANDom.

[RaChEl]

Religion. Kills.

The Mountains of regret
Chiseled in time for us to bow down to
Kiss their asses and make you whole
Call you out to be another disciple of their foolish customs
Family… torn apart
Throwing their energies on gritting away at meetings and conventions
All to be true
True believers

In nothing.

I hide and face guilt and dementia for this disease plaguing this crisis of despair
And I cringe at the pain it has caused.
The loneliness and remembered to be forgotten all the while these little fucks think they can rise above me
You sit on your throne of victory ….and throw beliefs and customs down at my throat
Clawing at me to listen to become part of the disease to become something that I can’t stand for
Since all this pain and suffering
Is what this has done

No forgiveness lies here in the dreaded darkness of “true Christians”
These little masterminds thrive for a cult of hypocrisy and demolition
And corruption…brain-washing against societal norms
Break free from the chains of the milk-bubble you’ve been so openly fed through
Without knowledge of the truth
Promises lay bare beneath them, unnoticed
and we are abused, beaten and forgotten since we are not one of them
The ones who know what they do and how to do it
The geniuses of perfection
The beauty lies smudged with afflictions of pain and abstractions of religion
While everyone else sleeps soundly underneath the Pagan moons.
I wonder if they sleep tonight as soundly as they do.

But then I remember the corruption. The pain and confusion
I remember….

And this is blood
And this is family
That I can’t forget…

[AngelOfBetrayal]

It's fairly good, a little long and so if people aren't really relating to what you are saying they might lose interest. I like ryhme in my poems... XD
but this is a very good freewrite.
^_^
keep writing
It saves
^_^

[Agonies Creep]

It definatly struck a nerve. I'm not much of a poet myself & I agree with "AngelOfBetrayal" it was a bit long. However, it held my atention completly & I suspect that the "corpse on a stick" theory has caused you a bit of suffering, as it has many of us. Keep the poetry flowing, maybe one day you'll be writting for Otep.... or perhaps a band of your own.
Odin Lives!! Otep is Love!!!

[RaChEl]

i agree too, but i'm not a poet and dont claim to be i was just pissed off at 2 am and decided to write some shit down....and this is what i came up with...i didnt change a bit of it before i posted.

thanks for the feedback. i agree with you both. it is long...i wasnt really thinking about length at the time...and I suppose it would lose interest in some or offend others, whichever... its my opinion and rant and raves at the time of its conception.
haha writing for Otep???? ya right....shes trillions better than i am!!! i am awfullly proud of this bit of work if i do say so myself.

[Michaela]

Hi Rachel :) Angel's beautiful people and I love her dearly & Agonies is a dear cuddly old viking when he wants to be lol. but I have to disagree with them this time :) Only about the length though!

I think its a magnificent piece of writing, all the better for it's length and expresses powerful ideas poetically even though as you say, it wasn't meant to be a poem. Angel certainly can be forgiven for thinking it was.

*grin* when it comes to length I'm probably the worst offender on here - I just can't keep things short, I like using language and feel if something is worth saying it's worth saying well lol. But I tend to a dry and sardonic style that I'm sure just bore people to tears :)

You have captured and expressed vivid images and complex ideas in a beautiful piece of writing.

Well done.

Love, Michaela xox