lamentations, confessions, and aggressions

[purplecrazytails]

i'm drowning and i need a place to spill.

[purplecrazytails]

momma martyr

your pain is clawing it's way out of you and searing my soul
the overflowing brutality that is yours has become my empty hole
your sorrow spills out of you and i'm lapping up the blood of momma martyr's milk

momma martyr
firestarter
i can't aid you
i want to save you
i don't know how to help

momma martyr
i'm not smarter
i can't heal you
though i cry for you
i can't even fix myself

bruises, blood, and extension cords
broken, screaming, and raping hordes
your life was stolen
your body broken
your shattered soul stayed unspoken

your soul was burned
your lessons learned
bleeding, hiding, rotting genetics
your mind is scarred
your heart is barred
your spirit is hyperkinetic

momma martyr
life is harder
when i leave you alone
when your in your danger zone
why won't you let me in?

momma martyr
latent ardor
i can carry you
shield you from the daunting few
let me stitch your skin

no more pain
no, never again
i will take up your cross and cries
no more sorrow
no raw tomorrow
out of the fire and ash you shall rise

by: your loving constant reminder of rape

[purplecrazytails]

12:19 PM - the ghost in the room
Category: Writing and Poetry

the ghost

everybody walks through me everyday
superficial conversation is just profane chills
nobody sees my mind in disarray
i'm the ghost in the room on pills

we were all born in the dark
though no one sees my soul slipping
as they go they leave a mark
and when I'm alone, i start my blood to dripping

pandora's box holds everything i need
she holds all my evil inside for me – my cage
cloth and pins and alcohol and blades to hide the evil seeds
blood is sweeter, thicker, and prettier than tears – and rage

don't commit homicide – but do clean your blades
slice away the urge to spill life into death
the cold metal erases life's charades
it quiets the pain still clawing inside my flesh

only the sweet agony of shredding my soul
will keep the pain chained and locked away
i long to see meat and bone, but strive for self control
blood and tears make beautiful love don't they?

most people work through their love just to end it in hate
i work through anger to get to pleasure and ill thrills
nobody understands what damage they create
and nobody ever remembers the ghost in the room on pills

[purplecrazytails]

inside out

i wish our inner wounds
were outwardly visible
to see the broken and decaying
force the them to see the invisible

we are connected by blood
rivers flow from you to me
god won't recede the flood
and the earth still vomits the sea

the faithful witness
firstborn of the dead
he's closed his eyes
and turned his head

we are inside out
we are the majority
we're screaming at the sky
but we're not the priorty

i'm washed clean
but don't feel safe
it's the holy ghost
against my wraiths

we're inside out
the souls that writhe and twist
we're the rotting masses
and we're fucking pissed!

the vast maligned
the broken minds
we're not your fucking concubine
it's your fault!

the bones grind
heaven and hell, intertwined
will you still fuck mankind
or stop this assault!

[purplecrazytails]

the bringer of demise

some days it's hard to fight the urge to chew through your throats until that final gurgle of a last breath
some days the person inside me is struggling against my need for order so she can reign down with her sick form of death

some days are just like everyone else's day except that i can't get the metallic taste of blood out of my mouth of madness
some days i just feel like giving in to the angry bitch screaming inside me because at least behind her i can forget the sadness

i dream of bones breaking
i feel my soul aching
why should i be faking...me
i dream of blood taking
i feel my mind quaking
why is he forsaking...me

some days i can smile at you all while the blood flows past you behind my eyes
some days i can laugh with you but it's because my mind has heard your screams and cries
some days i am very quiet because with her, i am losing this war
some day i won't save you from her blade and her bite, and she'll settle her score

why should i fight against this
just let me taste the sweet kiss...of blood and flesh
i want to carve out my ears and gouge my own eyes
i'm sick of this hell and i'm sick of it's lies

i am the bringer of demise

[purplecrazytails]

scientific evaluation of the spiritual shun

assumption number 1
god is infallible – biblically accepted
assumption number 2
god makes no mistakes - biblically accepted
assumption number 3
god is loving and kind - biblically accepted
here in lies the inconsistency of my first three assumptions:

i am the bruised and broken soul clinging to the wings of salvation
i am the product of rape, the exacerbation of domination
i am the mistake that barely survived extermination
i am the abomination of purity, homo erotic elation and discrimination
i am the repulsive configuration of mental frustration
i am a constant reminder that this world is in a state of rotting disintegration
i will have no spiritual transformation, no wondrous communication
i have no one to hear my guilty declaration
i have no way to cleanse this putrification
i feel my hatred growing with acceleration
how should i comprehend this perpetual hallucination?
i conclude your laws to be massive miscommunication!
i reject the isolation, medication, your forcible nullification
i vomit out your psychological cannibalization
fuck these twisted laws of falsification!
i refuse your creation, domestication, complete damnation
i create my own edification, my own personification
i demand indemnification, compensation, and decriminalization!

i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned!
i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned!
i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned! i will not be shunned!

oh god of Jekyll and hyde
why can’t i be justified?
can’t you see how i have cried?
i am dying of being denied
the conclusion is…you lied.

you lied! you lied! you lied!
you lied! you lied! you lied!
you lied! you lied! you lied!

assumption number 1
god is infallible – liar!
assumption number 2
god makes no mistakes - liar!
assumption number 3
god is loving and kind - liar!
here in lies the inconsistency of my mental instability
shunned

[purplecrazytails]

splitting

my mind screams in silent agony
razorblade whispers splitting me in spiritual warfare
shredding at my very identity
i hate puking up every fucking breath of air

can hell really be worse than this loathing of all man kind?
i detest this diseased body driven by a distorted mind!
before therapy i was scared, panicked, and dead inside
now i’m enraged and broken with no dignity or pride

with this fury in my heart, i can only see red
i salivate for blood with these claws inside my head
this putrid high can’t be contained by your stupid meds
i warned you all so many times; none of you fled…

i begged for help when i knew this fate was meant for me!
i talked therapists, preachers, friends, and family
i swam in a guessing-game rainbow of pills and insanity
they only delayed the dance; it’s our destiny.

my heart is splitting
my head is splitting
my family is splitting
my mind is splitting
my skin is splitting
i’m splitting!
splitting!
splitting!

[Nickie Sims]

choaking on my iggnorance,
Knowing the truth denying the emptyness,
suffering is my salvation,
I just need dedication,
Music is my medication,
spead the word to all the nations,
fucked up by your temptations,
this gives me fullfilled sensations,
true affremations

Im starting to see the picture,
why im designed by you, im here standing lord it's
becoming so clear,
is the end really this close is the end really this near,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why why why
they dye dye dye
sacrfice
your device
I need to learn, I need to burn,
I do have concern,
the tables have turned
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
vengence,
relentless,
defenceless,
I was before,
now I know,
where will I go? x2

underworld beneath my breath,
I have to fill this emptyness,
eroting my insides,
my face has changed so has my life,
purpose worthless,
maybe I deserve this,
Never x3

Show me all the things,
like you have x2
let me know x2
there is forces I know it's true,
Leading me to you to you
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why why why
they dye x3
come to me in a dream,
is it really what it seems,
are my visions all true,
what the fuck should I do,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

why why why
they dye we dye dye dye

ohhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh

chasing my thought everyday,
these propocey's inside of me,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
coming together,
shivers of sickness making me worse and better...

Tonight I fight,
For now I sleep alright...
My dreams are normal as normal as nightmares can get when you used to stay awake, now you find them normal building intellect,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

looking forward to this,
power to the people raise my fist,
dream with me tonight I fly...
away x3
hypocrates x2
denying it... supplying it?
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I wanna smash shit,
I wanna shake the ground till it splits,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
more information I need,
so I will fall asleep....

And another send this to the band plz

slice your authority,
mend my wounds,
eat you whole listening to my tunes.
stare to the sky,
as my soul devides,
my mind has an appititex2
understand the hidden text,
wonding but knowing what could be next,
for some it's to complex,
fest on there weakness next!!!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
forgive me blashphamy inside of we,

this is how it has to be,
living in hypocrasy,
hungry for knowledge,
empty inside,
in certain compartments,
the rest filled with truth and lies,
I'll fight for what ever is right for us for me,
dark or light I can't see,
the difference,
deliverence,
vengence,
defenceless,
relentless..

who sent this,
I think I know?? Do I know?? Does it show..
As it grows..
anger,
confided,
Im done with it being insidex3
this is my life,
this is our life,
so pass the knife...
am I feeling alrightx3
im in shell shock,
give me information,
I will show dedication,
I dont need an ovation,
but if you want I'll take that situation,
I got a reputation...
is it about population,
these questions are what im facing...
fight fight I will use my empty might,
to obtain and fufill the void,
nothing but destiny no it wont we avoided,
Iv desided,
Give me knowledge,
am I invited what do you need solved then besides them

[Nickie Sims]

VOICES, THOUGHTS CONTROL,
IGGNORENCE OVERCOMES,
FACTS UNTOLD,
WAITING TILL THE DAY IT ARISES,
SUICIDAL SURPRISE,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
IM GUNNA BREAK,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FOR HELLS SAKE,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON,X3
FLAMES,EXPLOSIONS,BODILY CURROSIONS,
BRAINS EMPLODING,
SIGHTS IN MY MIND AS THE PAGE IS LOADING,X3
SCREAM,AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
REBELX3
SCREAM, JUMP AROUND, SMASH SHIT TO THE FUCKING GROUND,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,
NIGHTMARES COMING ALIVE,
I WILL CONTUINUE TO STAY HALF DEAD AND ALIVE,
I LOVE THIS SHIT THE END OF DAYS,
HAVENT HAD ENOUGH OF IT,
IM A PHYCO WAITING TO SEE,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,
YOU DON'T SEE THE VISIONS IN ME,
IM A PHYCOX2
BUT WILL YOU GO WHERE I GO
IM A PHYCOX2
WAITING...WAIT, THE BLOW,
THE HIT, IM IGGNORENT,
HAHAHA IM A PHYCOX2
WAITING TO SEE THE VISIONS IN ME!!

[Cital]

battle of the demons
by: cital



eyes flicker open
to another bad omen
demons hunting one another
as i hide under the covers

glass shatter
tear splatter
the air is dense
my bodys tense

relax. relax.
its the same ol’ attacks
nothing new,
just another feud
nothing to see here
just destruction and fear

an innocent child
a fake smile
a nervous cackle
while locked in these shackles
chained to this bed
same lullaby in my head
skipping over and over again

i can tell they’re bleeding
i can hear them feeding on each other
a crack of thunder
jump out of my skin!

i hear the screaming again
i smell the tears again
its just the demons fighting again...

[purplecrazytails]

chapters of memories flooded me as i read this. wow, very nicely done!